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About Relationships
People that you attract into your life mirror back to you your beliefs about yourself, and what old belief still wants to be healed and understood. You also mirror back your partner's beliefs about themselves.
For example: Your partner is always busy and doesn’t spend quality time with you, they just want you to meet their needs. The question you could ask yourself is “Do you feel your needs are important?” “Do you feel that you are important?” “Do you always feel that no matter how hard you try, it’s never enough or good enough for your partner?” This could also come from friends, parents or work colleagues and authority figures.
- Now ask yourself, "How is this a reflection of my childhood?" "Were my parents planning to have a baby when I was conceived?" "Did my parents not have enough time for me because of work, house, siblings, physical or mental illness?"
What type of relationships do you normally have? (partners, friends, co-workers, etc.)
- Co-dependent
- Both people are dependent on one another for their lives to be sustained
- Counselor/counselee
- One person has some knowledge that the other feels they do not have or need, which gives the counselor type control over the other
- Sadomasochistic (passive/aggressive)
- One person feels they are superior over the other and are in control either mentally, emotionally or physically (sadistic). The other person feels like they are the cause of the problems, or told they are the cause, and they feel they deserve to be punished or feel guilty, because they don’t feel like they are enough, etc. (masochistic)
- Self-sufficient
- Both individuals have learned how to meet their own needs and are in the relationship because they want to be, not because they feel they need the other for something they lack.
Whatever relationship type you find yourself in can be the reflection of parental imprinting, societal expectations, emotional childhood experiences, the way you functioned and developed throughout childhood, and your core beliefs about who you are, and how you feel about yourself.
Let's uncover your core beliefs, and view your subconsciously programmed past experiences from an adult perspective, and begin creating your life and relationships with more conscious awareness.
3 to 5 sessions are common for this type of issue
- 30 min consultation
- 1.5 hour session
- 1.5 hour session
- 1.5 hour session
- $415 total for the above sessions
- 2.5 hour session - Past life regression - $185 (optional)
Something to think about
The responsibility for ‘showing’ up is something that not every soul truly understands and is a source of frustration for many who have ‘awakened’ to the deeper potentiality that lies within their psyche. Yes, it is an exercise of acceptance, compassion and patience as you are called to ‘meet’ someone where they are at, but it is also an exercise of recognizing ‘why’ you feel those prickly reactions, as you explore the themes of expectation, entitlement, judgment and disappointment.
Whilst this process is not exclusive to romantic liaisons, it is particularly keen for those who are engaged in deep work, working through countless layers of ‘stuff’ as they earnestly seek to free themselves from ancestral, personal and familiar scripts, patterns and binds. It is indeed true that the external world mirrors our inner self, and that can be a source of profound disappointment when you encounter someone that you have a deep, irrational, knowing-connection and they do not show up.
Does that mean that there exists within you a reluctance to participate? Does that mean that the timing is truly not apt for this sort of connection? Does that mean you are to be eternally single? Or does that mean that you have not ‘done your work properly’?
The list is much more extensive but in short it affords you the opportunity to recognize the past in the current and to make conscious choices as to what you are prepared to accept as a truth within the bonds of intimate connections that you are now forging. Pain always accompanies love. There is no hiding from it. If you truly love, you will be hurt. You cannot escape that experience.
Loss is part of life and to love is to lose something or someone. There will be a time when you have to say farewell, when someone you love births on. There is a time when you let go your child into the world and hopefully, the arms of someone else. There is a time wherein you may have encountered all that is needed and time arises to move on. That is just life.
But it is important to acknowledge the balance of pain and suffering with joy and love from the outset of any potential encounter, be it friendship or romance. If the dynamic is truly complex, and by that I mean the path to encounter is obscure with two souls unable to ‘meet’ with ease, to physically show up and be available to each other, or to connect, exchange and share freely, openly and honestly, then it is likely that the balance will tip towards pain and suffering as a main theme between you. Whilst that may satisfy aspects of your deeper soul’s scripts, is that truly the path that you wish to embrace?
Love is profound in its simplicity and it is the currency of life. It is not simply attraction, fascination and fantasy, though that is part of its fabric. Love is breath. Love is spirit. Love is body. Love is heart. But love will encounter the shadow of both souls, as that is the ground of true intimacy. To love is to descend into the depths and ascend to the heights, without judgment and with complete acceptance. But it also has to be free. If it is not from the outset, even if it is frightening and overwhelming, and if it causes intentional pain, then is it truly love and for you, as that love is likely to generate karma, a process you and many are actively seeking to be liberated from…
When you ‘show’ up, it means that you are present, available and free, despite whatever complexities that life has offered. Before you enter the hall of connection, it is a useful question to ask – can I ‘show’ up, and can the other’ meet’ me freely, openly, simply and presently?
~Andrew Smith
